Maid For A Day

I've spent a bit of time this week thinking about becoming a maid and I couldn't resist putting together a "maid for a day" contract. I love the thought of turning up at someone's home, being presented with this to sign, and having to spend the rest of the day stuck performing their household chores. I'm just going to leave this here in case any of you can make us of this...

Between:

(1) ............................ (“the Employer”, “Master”, or “I”)

(2) putbackinnappies (“the Employee” “maid”, or “you”)

Terms of Employment:

1. Your employer is :.............................. . I agree to employ you in the capacity of maid on ............... between the hours of .......... and .......... .
   
   
2. Your normal workplace is :.............................. (“the household”).
   
   
3. Your duties are those that normally go with your job title including cooking and cleaning within the household. You must take on reasonable additional domestic duties when I ask you, to meet the needs of the household.
   
   
4. In the event that the duties outlined in paragraph 3 are not completed in satisfaction of the Master’s reasonable expectations, I will be entitled to take disciplinary action against you.
   
   
5. Disciplinary action, in the first instance, will consist of verbal scolding. Any further breaches of paragraph 3 will be punished with a clothed, over-the-knee spanking.
   
   
6. You will remain dressed in appropriate maid’s uniform at all times during contracted hours. At the Master’s discretion, you may be required to wear a nappy during contracted hours. You may change your nappy only with my verbal agreement.
   
   
7. You will treat the me with due deference at all times (including, but not limited to, referring to me by the titles “Mr. ............... ”, “Master”, or “Sir”) during contracted hours. Failure to do so will constitute a breach of paragraph 3 and will result in disciplinary action as set out in paragraph 5.
   
   
8. I will treat you with contempt and disdain (including, but not limited to, referring to you by the diminutives “girl” or “maid”), as befitting a maid of low social status.
   
   
9. You agree to provide an entirely non-sexual service. Any attempted or initiated sexual contact from either party to the contract will result in immediate termination of the contract.
   
   
10. I will pay you £4.20 per hour plus travelling expenses.

Employee’s Signature:.............................. Date:....................

Employer’s Signature::.............................. Date:....................