The Party

He awoke slowly, groggily, just in time to see a hand passing gently back through the bars beside him. His thoughts took a moment to gather before he recognised the cot around him and remembered the hand's owner; Nanny.

“Come on little fella, it's time to get you up.”, Nanny said as she pulled up the blind, temporarily blinding him with the late afternoon glow. “We need to get you ready for the party, don't we?”

“Party?” Until now, Nanny was the only other person who'd seen him like this. When they first met, he'd mentioned, in passing, one of his fantasies. He'd always wanted to be treated like a baby in a room full of adults.

He remembered meeting with friends when one of them had brought their child. He thought about the way the boy was passed around from person to person, fussed over, and not just spoken down to but, occasionally, spoken over as if he weren't there. He wanted to be that boy.

Of course, that was just idle fantasy. He never seriously thought through what it would be like to be exposed as an adult baby. How vulnerable would he feel about some total strangers knowing his secret. He wasn't really going to meet people dressed like this, was he?

“That's right, a party. Clever boy. Nanny has invited some grown ups over tonight and they're all really looking forward to meeting you. First, though, we need to get you out of that wet nappy and get you dressed up in some nice party clothes.”

He'd woken up wet but only because he'd fallen asleep wet. No matter what he tried, he'd never been able to make himself wet in his sleep. So that he could feel what it was like to wake up in a wet nappy like a real baby, he'd made sure to go as soon as Nanny had left him in his cot for an afternoon nap.

Nanny unclipped the latch on the cot and lowered the bars. She took him by the hand, helped him step over the side of the cot and led him to the changing table. He hopped up, enjoying the soft squish of his nappy under him. He laid down and she slid his pyjama shorts down his legs.

As Nanny undid the tapes on his nappy, he instinctively raised his bottom slightly from the padded table. It felt good to get some fresh air to his clammy skin. She slid the old nappy out from under him and cleaned him with a cool, refreshing baby wipe.

As Nanny stepped away to dispose of the wet nappy, he was left, briefly, to contemplate the evening ahead. Had Nanny really been able to find people prepared to take part in his fantasy? It sound like she'd gone to a lot of trouble for him. He started to worry again. Whenever he'd played as a baby, he always struggled to keep himself in the right mindset. He decided that, tonight, he would have to really commit to his role if he was to show his gratitude to Nanny and to her guests.

He broke from his reverie to see Nanny opening up a fresh nappy for him. It was the type he liked. White all over with a babyish print where the tapes attached. It reminded him of the adverts for nappies he used to see on television as a child and how he always wanted to know what it was like to wear one. He could never have admitted that to anyone, though. There was nothing more shameful to him at that age than being seen as a baby.

After taping up the new nappy and giving him a playful tap on the nose, Nanny moved to the dresser and pulled out some items one by one. He hadn't seen these clothes before. First, something in blue gingham; a nappy cover. Then came a bubble romper. Nanny reached deeper into the drawer and took out some socks. As she unrolled them, he could see a lace frill around the top. Lastly, she picked up a pair of black Mary Jane shoes and placed them down in front of the changing table.

They weren't like anything he'd worn before. He preferred to be dress in clothes that were more modern, more boyish. His apprehension was clear on his face.

“Do I have to wear all that, Nanny? Everyone will laugh at me.” He surprised himself with how much he sounded like a self-conscious child.

“Don't be silly, sweetie. No-one will laugh at you. I've told my guests all about you and everyone is under strict instruction to treat you as they would any toddler. All anyone will see when they walk through the front door is a very smartly dressed little boy. You want to look smart for Nanny's friends, don't you?”

“Yes, Nanny”. He was still scared but he trusted Nanny so he prepared to step out of his comfort zone.

“Right, then, let's get you all dressed up in your smart little outfit. We've got to get you looking your best before everyone starts to arrive.”

His face relaxed into a smile as he finally started to believe that this party really could be fun.

“Yay, dress up!”, he giggled.

“That's it. Good boy.” Nanny grabbed his wrists, one in each hand and began to clap his hands together in a display of excitement that became quite genuine as his enthusiasm for the situation grew.

Nanny left him clapping to himself and picked up all the clothes and placed them on a chair next to the changing table. She pushed him gently down onto his back again and took hold of the gingham nappy cover, opening it out.

“OK, put your little tootsies into the hole for Nanny.” She placed the pants over his ankles and slid them up his legs. He couldn't believe the noise they made, the plastic lining of the pants was the loudest he'd ever heard. Even the slightest movement or twitch resulted in a crackle that followed him around. It was as though the sound were part of him.

Nanny stepped back for a moment and watched him wriggling his middle around as he lost himself in sheer enjoyment of the sensation. An indulgent smile spread across her face, seeing him there, looking so cute in his little gingham pants, with a lace trim and an adorable ribbon on each leg. He was finally relaxing into his role. She pressed on.

“Stop squirming, you.” She laughed and playfully swatted his thigh.

“Sowwy, Nanny.” He responded with the biggest eyes he could muster.

“That's alright, dear. You can sit up now.” She ruffled his hair. “Lift your arms, please”.

He reached up as Nanny placed the heavy cotton romper over his head. As he put his arms through, he found there wasn't very much sleeve at all. What sleeve there was was bunched up by elastic into a little puffy shape.

He watched as the blue and white striped material was pulled down around his body. There was a strip of thick elastic in the back that cinched the romper just under his chest. It created a classically childish shape. To his mind, it looked a little girlish even though he'd seen old-fashioned boys clothes just like this.

Above the chest, there was plain white, broken by a Peter Pan collar, which was done in the same stripes as the body and the sleeves. The outfit was finished by a sweet powder-blue ribbon, tied in a bow on the chest.

Nanny reached behind him and pulled up a small zip at the back. Then, she pulled the bottom of romper between his legs and fastened the press studs, gathering the leg elastic to create the bubble effect around his waist. Everything fitted perfectly.

He looked down. It was still a slightly odd feeling for him, being technically fully dressed while his legs were completely on show.

“Let's get your socks on. We wouldn't want you getting cold feet now, would we?” She said with a knowing wink. He let out a wry chuckle and offered out one foot at a time for the white socks to be pulled on. Nanny straightened the frill around each ankle. Next, she picked up one of the black Mary Jane shoes and slipped his left foot into it.

“It fits! You shall go to the ball!” She tightened the buckle on the strap and repeated the process with the other shoe. His feet felt heavy as he swung his legs over the side of the changing table. Nanny stepped back to admire her work as an artist would their canvas.

“Perfect. You look an absolute picture.” That was what he has hoped but also slightly feared. “If it'll calm you down, you can pop this in your mouth.” She produced a dummy from a drawer and placed it in his expectant mouth. It had, once again, become second nature for him to begin suckling on it.

“Look at the time!” Nanny exclaimed. “My guests will be here at any minute. Let's get you downstairs ready to meet everyone.”

As he jumped down from the table, Nanny put her hands around his waist, as though she were lifting him down safely. She took his hand and led him out of the nursery and down the stairs to the front door.

“Come now, you stand there so everyone can see you as they walk in. As each guest arrives, I'll introduce you to them. When I do that, I'd like you to give them your cutest smile and say 'Pleased to meet you'. Can you remember to do that for Nanny?”

“Yeth, Nanny.” He lisped around the dummy and beamed the biggest smile he could manage.

“Wonderful. Ooh, I've just thought of something. I've got one last finishing touch for your outfit.” Nanny reached into her pocket and pulled out some white cloth. It was a bonnet, intricately decorated with broderie anglaise. Before he had time to get a good look at it, though, Nanny was placing it around his head and tying the ribbons into a bow under his chin.

He turned to the mirror next to him and saw his face framed by a lacy frill. If he was honest, he felt a bit of an idiot, seeing this pseudo-toddler gazing back at him but he could see the attention to details and authenticity of the clothes Nanny had prepared for him. He reminded that this is what he wanted. He knew this is what he wanted.

Suddenly, the sound of a car crunching up the gravel drive became clear and he was gripped by nerves once again. His stomach felt it was plummeting from some great height and his head was buzzing. He reached for Nanny's hand and squeezed it tight. She looked at him, smiled, and squeezed his hand back.

“Don't worry, sweetie. My friends won't bite. Just be yourself and you'll have a lovely time. I promise.”

He steeled himself as he heard the sound of footsteps and a figure grew larger in the frosted glass.

The doorbell rang.